so explain again why im purple
no
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
