So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
