You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
