Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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