I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
