One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize