were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
