I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
