Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
