I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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