You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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