if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
