i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
