it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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