I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
