Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I need help removing her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
