You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Congratulations! We have a period
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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