He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize