I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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