I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
