69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
