so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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