And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
