yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
