i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
BRING THE BAGELS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
