worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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