You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
