Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
