You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
