babies were throwing up all over the place
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
