Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
