"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
