well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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