There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
