OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
