its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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