dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
