He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
