the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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