Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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