Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
