their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
farters have to be the big spoon...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
