Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We don't watch enough power rangers
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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