I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
