The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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