i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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