her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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