I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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