you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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