at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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