no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
