Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize