So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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