I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize