Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
