Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
