its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
