We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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