Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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