my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize