Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
