We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
