Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
